we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
