lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
