found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
