People in love make me want to vomit
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
