whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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