There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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