all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
