White coat. Heels.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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