i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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