a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
