He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
