dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
