To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
