Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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