Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
