return my video game
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
