I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
