I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
