You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
