the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
