Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
