im six kinds of drunk right now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
