i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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