I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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