Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
