He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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