They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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