i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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