You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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