Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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