i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
