I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
