how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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