My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
