tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
