That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
