All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
