I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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