I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
