I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
