How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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