Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
