from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
