My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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