Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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