I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
