I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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