I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
