Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
