His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
