At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
