sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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