I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
